Stuck waiting for a slow printer
Yeah that’s seriously the reason I’m blogging. My printer is ridiculously slow and I have to sit here and wait for it lol. I just thought I’d do a general update, those are always fun.
So school has been going really well, tomorrow I hope to get my first Spanish test back! I’m feeling really good about it so hopefully… and then we have a test in Religion Thursday, scary! Tyler and I typed up our notes today, that was fun, as always :) We also studied for Spanish, I really like that class, lol. Religion–Old Testament to be specific–is a really…interesting class. Our teacher is pretty explicit, but he’s really smart. Kinda strange. Anyhow, there’s a lot of stuff I already knew but some stuff I didn’t so that’s fun. I enjoy that class immensely when he keeps it clean.
Environment, hopefully we’ll watch a movie tomorrow haha. that teacher is kinda…well, he repeats him self like. a lot…and the class is really unstructured so that’s annoying. but yeah, Thursday we put together a bottlesphere, and I had to sacrifice my shoelaces to science :( (okay, if Tyler reads this he’s going to protest that I volunteered, which I halfheartedly did, because I had new shoelaces in my room. Yeah did you know they make shoelaces of different sizes?! so I still have no converse. maybe I’ll fix that tomorrow.)
Tomorrow! TobyMac’s new CD comes out tomorrow!! I talked Tyler into going to Walmart with me before Spanish to buy it hehehe :) so that’s like, 6:50AM haaaha. I’m so excited though!! Toby’s music is so amazing. I am SO EXCITED!
Yay my printer has almost finished my first document! o.O
Let’s see. Aww, yesterday was the super bowl! that was fun. We went over to Juan & Beth’s house and watched it after visiting our friend Tommy in the hospital. Poor guy, he’s in a lot of pain (if you think to pray for him, that’d be wonderful<3). But Wally & Joni and their daughter were there, and Juan & Beth have three kids, and I was just like. so excited haha. While the boys and Kelsy played football during halftime, I got to take the toddler Maggie out and watch them. We ended up playing on the playground by their house, which was absolutely so much fun, I loved it. And then we watched the boys (And Kelsy) play football, and I had a blast telling her to cheer for her daddy.
Can’t wait for when I get to do that with my kids, for when I get to teach my children to love and respect their father; for when I get to respect my husband and tell him he’s wonderful and can do anything he sets his mind to. Mm, that’s what I’m super excited about. Definitely looking forward to standing behind Mr X, that lovely handsome wonderful man.
At church Saturday, Josh talked about opposition and stuff (I think I blogged about that already). And I like. The only passion I have in my heart is like homemaking stuff. My passion is to show Christ’s love to my husband and children someday, and to make a difference for children and women in the world through Biblical values and love and all that great stuff. Which is why it’s hard to pick a major. “How to be a Mommy 101″ isn’t exactly a college course, or something that can be taught.
I’ve been trying to think of careers where I can positively influence children for Christ and make their lives better, besides a teacher since that doesn’t have really that much of an opportunity, does it? I’m not really sure. (good gracious this printer is slow). But I don’t know yet. That’s my passion, I’m just waiting for God to develop it more.
Mexico! I’m so excited for Mexico. My heart is kind of torn, since this is my best friend’s last summer here, and leaving him for those 10 days just absolutely breaks me, but…as much as I love him, I love Jesus more, and…I know Jesus will work it all out as long as I follow Him. So I’m going to Mexico. I believe that’s what my best friend would want me to do anyway, and deep down it’s where I want to be. I just wish he could go too, but, nevertheless, Mexico will be amazing.
OOOOOOOOOOOKAY subject change, the tears are seconds from falling as I think about him leaving.
Back to yesterday, it was my Sunday to be in the nursery. My mom was in there for the first time and the kids don’t know her as well so they were like all flocking to me, talk about adorable :) little Sammy fell asleep in my arms, it was so adorable and wonderful. I really really love kids ya’ll. This one kid, Aemon, whom I’ve like never met, would wail everytime I’d walk away from him for the first 15 minutes or so lol. so adorable. kids are just precious guys. mm.
I really hate this printer. I feel like I’m wasting major time. Oh it finished! yay!! That’s my life in less than 900 words :)
Purity is so. hard.
I write to you today, just like. disgusted really. I’m a big big fan of purity. I really really really want to be pure in heart, mind, action, word, thought, deed…but it’s so hard. There is so much trying to rob my husband of this gift I want to give him–a pure, set-apart Lindsey.
It’s pretty bad when…religion class is the one that leaves you struggling with your mental purity the most. My religion teacher is…he’s very knowledgeable, but very. crass. he insists on going into explicit detail on anything sexual remotely mentioned in the Bible. Like right now we’re going through Genesis. Any crude reference he talks about for extended periods of time, but when Joseph refused to sleep with Potiphar’s wife?! he just glazes over it.
Excuse me sir. Joseph was a real man. You are not.
It’s just disgusting how perverted he makes everything. I mean, it’s just disturbing, and awkward. I really don’t need to know every detail and ramification and implication of everything in Genesis. I’m quite content to take the sexual side of things at face-value, really.
And then the media! Thankfully I don’t really have time for TV. but I really, really wanted to see that Dear John movie with Channing Tatum. It looked absolutely adorable. But no. They have to throw in shirtless guys, sex scenes, and crude language. Like really?! Does anyone even know what real love is anymore?!
It’s just been a battle lately. Guarding what goes into your mind is super important, and it’s really irritating when your supposed-to-be religion class is the one that leaves you struggling the most. That’s why I need to memorize Philippians 4:8 and 2 Corinthians 10:5:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
Using these two verses, I’m desperately trying to fight off all this junk the world is throwing at me; by taking a though captive, running it through Philippians 4:8, and bitterly crushing it if it fails the test.
It’s definitely one of the hardest things I’ve had to do in my life. I can’t even imagine how much harder it would be if I were a guy. That just totally breaks my heart. But that’s another story.
So purity. How’s it going for you? How can I pray for you? Don’t give up fighting! God wants us to be pure; it’s never not worth it.
Beautiful God
I have been moved to near tears four times this week by the immense beauty of our God. Four times! That’s crazy! this entry isn’t so much to tell you about that, but for me to remember the beautiful and awe-inspiring things I’ve learned from my Father this week. Who knows, maybe they’ll touch you.
1. In Old Testament Tuesday we were talking about the Dead Sea Scrolls. Their preservation is absolutely mind-boggling. And beautiful. Here these scrolls with pieces of every OT book (except Esther) are discovered, readable, beautiful, and 1,000 years older than our oldest manuscripts at the time. The critics were thrilled; “Surely the Scriptures had been tweaked over time and now we will discover the truth!” they thought. But they were wrong. God has preserved His word in such a careful and beautiful way. My reason for being touched? My God is so big, and so strong, and so beautiful, that he can keep His words perfect for 2,000+ years, and he even hid some of them for us to find later and be amazed at. I’m just in awe.
2. In Old Testament Thursday we were talking about the creation of man, and how eve was taken from Adam’s side. not from his head, not from his foot, but from his side. And how man is incomplete without eve. That’s just beautiful. She’s not to rule him, he’s not to rule her; they’re to work together. God just weaves beauty into everything He touches.
3. Today we went to a state park for environment class. We had lunch in quite possibly the most beautiful corner of the park I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t help but just gaze. The sky was a brilliant blue with puffy white clouds painted here and there; it was just such a beautiful sight. I was overwhelmed with beauty. My God is so beautiful.
4. Tonight the moon was absolutely breathtaking. It was so bright and gorgeous and there was a perfect ring of clouds all around it. I just had to lay there and soak it all in (even though it’s freezing outside). you could see how the clouds were so much closer than the stars, and it made me want to reach up my hand and pierce the clouds, stretch through the atmosphere, and grab that glimmering little star hiding in the background. It’s just beautiful, God is beautiful, and He’s given us so many beautiful things; the trick is to find them.
God is beautiful. Everything He touches is just glowing. I’m in awe.
So. Beautiful.
Still have to love.
In honor of my Old Testament class this semester, a few weeks ago I started reading the OT in 1 Samuel.
***spoiler alert*** (haha)
All throughout 1 Samuel, well, the last half I guess, Saul has a huge chip on his shoulder against David and is trying to murder him. David has two chances to kill Saul, and refuses both times because Saul was still God’s leader of Israel, and David had to respect that. So while Saul was still alive, David had to live a migratory life, always on the run, always trying to stay one step ahead of Saul.
At the end of 1 Samuel, King Saul dies. And in the beginning of 2 Samuel, we see David’s reaction to his death. In the first chapter after he hears Saul is dead, David is just totally distraught. He tears his clothes and mourns and weeps over the death of this man who tried to kill him, who was the king of Israel.
It really just made me think about how we react to our leaders. Sure, I don’t agree with much of what Obama wants to do, but that doesn’t make him any less my President or any less of a human being. I am still called to honor him, respect him, pray for him, and honestly desire the best for him in his life. If David can do all that to a leader who was trying to KILL him, I think we can do that for a leader who is making changes in our economy.
Proverbs 21:1: “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases.” (NIV)
God is in control. God is bigger than Obama, and we as God’s servants need to honor and respect that man.
Thoughts from Nehemiah, chapter 3
The pastor at my church made an awesome study guide to go through Nehemiah this spring, and today’s assignment was to read Chapter 3 (I think, I might have done the wrong day, but, either way, I read Nehemiah 3 today.)
At first I was like, well, this is exciting, a bunch of dude’s names, and how they’re building a wall at some gate I’ve never heard of and can never see. Awesome.
But then it was like, whoa, that is awesome. The priest was building up the wall for Jerusalem over by his house, the guy who makes perfume was building it up near him, and some guy with his daughters built it up over by his place.
That is such a diverse group of people! It’s crazy! And it really just made me realize how special each and every one of us is in the kingdom of God, and in getting His will accomplished. We need each other so much!
that’s really all I have to say. You should read Neheimah 3, it’s pretty cool.
“The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. …. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” -I Corinthians 12:12-13, 27
I think I’m gettin’ it :)
So this morning I was thinking about patterns and waist sizes and whatnot, and I was like talking to invisible people (I do that when I’m bored) and I was just like “Sooo what my waist isn’t 23 inches, go ahead, tell me I’m fat, I don’t care, because you’re wrong.”
And then I just smiled. God has worked soo much in my life. It’s ridiculous.
And then I thought..hm. I could have had a boy telling me that every day for the last year. And then if he went away, I’d be in the same boat. But because I let God fill that hole? That’s something that will NEVER go away.
That’s what getting completion from God is all about.
I think I’m gettin’ it :)
Wow
This is the most beautiful song ever written I think.
How I pray this becomes true of me.
I found my prince!
no, not a boy, silly…
I’m sitting here looking at my calendar. It’s a picture of snow white on a white horse and it says “And she rode away on a horse white as snow.” There’s that Taylor Swift song about a prince and his white horse or something. Anyway, a white horse ALWAYS signifies a prince. In Cinderella, the horses are White. Prince Phillip’s noble steed is white-ish-gray. Fairytales always have white horses.
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- Quite possibly the most amazing picture…
I hope those worked. Anyway. Check this out:
“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice He judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on His head are many crowns. He has a name written on Him that no one knows but He Himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and His name is the Word of God. “
-Revelation 19:11-13
JESUS RIDES A WHITE HORSE!!!!
So if you have Jesus?
You have your fairytale :)
Questions I severely hate:
“What do you want to be?” “What do you want to major in?” “what do you want to do with your life?”
I hate these questions because I either shrink back from what I really want, or get the weirdest looks when I tell them what my heart wants to be.
The simple answer to this, is that I want to be a wife and stay-at-home mother. That’s all I want to be. And every time I tell people that my goal in life is not to have a career but to just be a simple stay-at-home woman, I get strange looks. Shoot, I’m even to scared to tell my own mother.
I mean, sure, I realize marriage may not be in God’s will for me. And if that’s the case, His grace will have to help me realize and cope with that, because honestly…all I want is to be a wife and mother. I’ve been working for it so much lately. I want to learn how to cook so well that my husband will always be happy to eat at home, and my kids will be able to brag on what their mom makes them. I want to be a savvy shopper so I can respect my husband by making his hard-earned money go the farthest it can. I want to get better at sewing, because that’s cheaper and can make clothes last longer through alterations and whatnot. I’m working at keeping a neat house. I just want to live a life dedicated to serve the amazing man God could give me and our beautiful children.
And if that doesn’t happen? Fine. God will give me other dreams. I’m not worried about it. But for now? That’s the dream that is in my heart. That’s it. I always feel so lame telling people that. It’s like, don’t you have higher aspirations? Are you going to just let your brain rot away? Can’t you do something better with your life?
But I…don’t think there is a higher aspiration to me. My brain cannot rot when I’m homeschooling my children and teaching them about God’s love. And what on earth is better than serving and investing myself entirely in the lives of precious children who may one day change the world?
I have a hard time thinking God would put so much love and willingness to serve in my heart to just leave me single. But who knows, maybe I’ll end up working in an orphanage, or something. Either way, I just feel like my life is tied to children and doing homely things, one way or another. That’s my passion.
And it presents a real problem when filling out college scholarships. “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” Well…I guess wiping noses, teaching my own children, cleaning my house, and being a submissive woman aren’t going to help me get college money. So am I supposed to pretend I want a career? Am I supposed to pretend that I’m worth their investment? Or do I tell the truth? I want nothing to do with a career; I only want to live a life of love and service, dedicated to one wonderful man and raising our children. Yeah, that’ll go over well.
Ugh.
Lindsey the bookworm!
I just finished a book that absolutely captivated me this week; in honor of that, I’d like to share my favorite books of the year (basically…the only ones I read that I can recall, lol). I have only four. Four! Oh what a terrible number. Oh well, I shall share them just the same, in order of impact.
- Guys are Waffles, Girls are Spaghetti by Chad Eastham, Bill & Pam Farrel. This book dives into the differences between the way guys and girls work, to give a better understanding of the opposite sex. While I can’t say I was terribly surprised by much of it (because I’ve learned these things before in talking to my guys and reading other books), Chad is absolutely hilarious and puts everything in the best terms I have ever heard it. His other book Guys Like Girls Who… is also an amazing read (but it was 2008, so, it doesn’t count this year :/). It really encouraged me to be myself, so pick up that one too, lol.
- Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris. So stinking sweet. It’s absolutely packed full of love stories too adorable to be penned but by the hand of our marvelous Creator. He speaks on subjects a bit out of my grasp–getting prepared for marriage and engagement–seeing as I am not in the position for this commitment. But it was still a great read; it very much held my attention. I think reading about marriage and relationships ahead of time (when written in a Godly, wait for God’s timing fashion) is calming, preparatory, and just plain fun. Be careful though that, as I said, your books are saturated in seeking the will of God, not what “feels good” or your own selfish passions.
- I can’t believe I’m putting this book at number two instead of number one…probably because I finished number one moments ago. At any rate, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. This book radically enhanced my life. I have always held to the principles Joshua Harris outlines in this book, but I was never able to articulate why, or exactly what my feelings were. Reading this book was just like…having words put to the inexpressible achings and convictions in my soul. This book…everyone needs to read it. It’s so driven to finding God in our situations, and living to please Him, waiting without waiting around…it’s fantastic, I think I’m actually going to read it for a third time starting today since I’m out of books that interest me, lol. This might sound kind of weird, but upon my first completion of this book, I actually have a literal “I kissed dating goodbye” date, and official…well not official, but official to me, recognition of this. And that was January 4, 2009. I made a covenant that day (or renewed, or officialized, or whatever) not to date willy-nilly, but with the intent of someone I could marry. I made a covenant not to kiss anyone until my wedding day. It’s my promise to my husband, that he is a special man, and believe you me, he will be :)
- My absolute favorite book this year…Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot. Wow. It’s like she lived my life before me (to a very minute scale, seeing as I am not in a predicament quite like hers at all). But still. The emotions she expressed at times very much paralleled my own; I sat in tears reading until one or two in the morning. The undying dedication to God above what their hearts so craved is absolutely amazing to me, and so inspiring. There is a strength in reading that, that I will be okay, and that God will work things out. She asked God and herself the very same questions I find myself asking, and it was so wonderful to read the wisdom she had for dealing with everything. See? I’m even crying now as I write about it. It hit very close to home, and to my heart, and I absolutely loved it. Definitely will be a re-read.
Yes, very chicky books I realize. But they each played such an important part in my life. (The last I’m sure will be more so as time has parted me from its pages more than a few mere moments.) The waffle and spaghetti book, more importantly the guys like girls who… book, really challenged me in becoming the woman of God that I need to be. I’ve grown a lot this year in terms of acceptance of myself. I’d go through times where I was like, well, nobody has ever asked me out, there has to be something wrong with me. I’m fat. I’m ugly. I’m not bubbly enough. My personality is boring. I’m just not good enough.
God used His marvelous, redeeming, perfect Word to refute these thoughts, and He spoke through these books to show me that…it’s not me, it’s the timing. I know all my fears sound shallow and stupid, which is one of the reasons I think I have such a hard time admitting them. How thankful I am for friends who immediately refute my fears upon learning of them! I really…don’t know what I would have done without them.
Now perhaps you understand better my passion for the way girls view themselves. If I could have gone through such periods of feeling inadequate, with a secure knowledge of Jesus, and the best friends out there, and a loving family…how do the girls…without Jesus, with fickle shallow friends, and parents who don’t care…how do they feel?
This isn’t really where I had intended to go with this post. But I guess sometimes my mind wanders. I think the best way to close off would be…with the things that God used to show me that…I am who He created. My image, my value, my w0rth is in the cross and in His perfect design. I can’t say I remember that all the time, there are bad days like everybody else, but I’m learning. I’m learning to trust. Learning to lean. Learning to be comfortable with who I am, even if voices are screaming at me that I’m not enough. In fact, I rather like Lindsey Noelle, and I wouldn’t change me for anything, because this is who God made, and God doesn’t make mistakes.
- “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” -1 Peter 3:3-4. I know, I use it all the time. It changed my life, what can I say?
- “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” -Proverbs 31:30. The whole end of Proverbs 31 is pretty remarkable to be honest. - “I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” -1 Timothy 2:9-10
- Psalm 139. God just lays out how crazy He is about us. Therefore, it is absolutely ridiculous to consider ourselves sub-par.
- “The nations will see your righteousness, and all kings your glory;
you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow.
You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD’s hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God.
No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. … for the LORD will take delight in you..” -Isaiah 62:2-4 - “Lender! Don’t even feel that way. I’ve seen the pictures you posted and I still think you’re pretty. Everyone breaks out, no big deal. You’re still beautiful :)”
- I’m sure there are numerous songs, and numerous quotes…but I’d like to leave this post with this one thought that encouraged me:
“Girls are like apples…the best ones are at the top of the trees. The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples that are on the ground that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think there is something wrong with them, when, in reality, they are amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree…” -anonymous
