“Time for a milestone,
Time to begin again,
Re-evaluate who I really am.
Am I doing everything to follow Your will?
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?
So show me what it is you want from me, I give everything; I surrender to

Whatever You’re doing, inside of me,
It feels like chaos, but somehow there’s peace.
And it’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see,
But I’m giving in to something Heavenly.”
-Whatever You’re Doing (Something Heavenly) — Sanctus Real

Have you ever been there? Totally not understanding what God is doing in your life, but yearning to push aside fears and just trust Him with everything? That’s where I am.

Thursday night, and last night, I just had to tell God that. I just poured out my heart in my car. “God, what’s going on? I really don’t understand this. But I’m going to trust You.” It seems everytime I think I’ve “figured out” what’s going on, it changes.

Sometimes I wish God would just show me what’s going on. Just tell me what I need to do, and what’s going to happen. But then…how would that make me grow in Him? It’s easy to trust when you know the details. When you don’t see is when trust grows. God knows what’s going on. He’s got my best interest in mind. I just have to constantly remind myself that, and keep me and my “bright ideas” out of things, haha.

My friend Timmy and I were talking last night about Moses, and how he was afraid to do his own talking before Pharoah after God had told him to go. So God had Aaron do Moses’ talking for him. I wonder if Moses ever looked back on his life and wondered, “What would my life have been like if I’d trusted God enough to speak?” I really don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to get 50 years down the road and look back and be like “well, I wonder how much more amazing my life would have been if I hadn’t been so self-centered.” I want to look back and say “WOW! Did God do amazing stuff for me or WHAT!”

We were also talking about how that would have made God feel. God wouldn’t have told Moses to do something only to have him fall flat on his face. God wouldn’t tell me to do piano in worship team only to have me mess up and make a fool of myself. No. If God tells you to do it, He will give you the strength and ability to do it. He’s proven that in my life many times. But imagine, when we say “I can’t do that, I don’t speak well,” how does that make God feel? How frustrating would it be to have so much good planned for someone, and they just…blow you off? I don’t want to hurt God like that. And if not trusting God hurts him, then I’m going to trust him with everything I am and everything I have.

“As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in Him will never be put to shame.”
-Romans 10:11

“I couldn’t be any less worthy to spend one day,
Much less forever with You.

I raise my hands just as I am,
I’m letting go of false control.
I lift my voice, I have no choice,
My life is Yours, use me for your fame.”
-Fame — Rush of Fools

I love how God takes us as we are. Broken, used, dusty…and turns us into something beautiful. When we let Him. When we trust Him to.
Don’t hold back. “Anyone who trusts in the Him will never be put to shame.”



One response »

  1. Monica says:

    Ach… Something I needed to hear. Thank you. :)

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