Have you ever been out walking your dog and jerked on the leash? Sure, if your dog is anything like mine, they deserved the correction.
But I started thinking tonight, how much I feel like a dog on a leash, being jerked around by my emotions.
I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing. I’m really sick of it actually. And it’s annoying when I think I’ve got a grip on myself how they just drag me back down again. There has to be a way to defeat these evil things. I officially hate being a teenage girl. lol.
Like, tonight. I’m super giddy right now. I had an orange soda, and I got communcation with my friend in Ohio today, and I was texting with one of my favorite people all evening, and it was just really fun. We were fake flirting (so funny, lol) and stuff, and it was just so much fun.
Then I thought to how earlier I was so grumpy over a really weird really annoying piano lesson.
Am I that shallow that my moods can just jerk me around like that? I really hate being this unstable all the time. Like………………yeah. I want to be an even kilter kind of girl. None of this roller coaster junk.
Sure some stuff will alter your happiness, but should it alter your stand? I guess that’s more what I’m driving out. I posted a NO BOYS ALLOWED sign on my heart last week, and today, i caught myself wanting to take that sign down and let this one in.
Por que? Because I like how he writes? Because I want to be really close to him? Last time I checked that was possible without dating. So why do I let myself do this? No sir. not this time. That sign is staying up.
But…..how are you supposed to know when it’s okay to take it down? What if I’m ignoring a feeling that’s supposed to be there? what…….am I even saying?! See what I mean?! It’s SO FRUSTRATING!
My day was still awesome. I’ve just got more stuff I have to work through. More stuff to talk to God about. I’m so glad He doesn’t give up on me, even when I want to. <3