Yeah yeah, I realize you’re probably sick of posts about my music.
So if you are, don’t bother reading more. But I just can’t keep quiet about what Jesus did today.
A year ago (this week! :D) a church started renting out the building of my church on Saturday nights. In January, I couldn’t contain my curiosity any longer and had to check this place out.
Best thing I ever did. I have spent every free Saturday night there since and have been blessed and challenged immensely.
After praying about it a lot, I finally felt like God was telling me to get involved. So around the end of July, I finally got up enough nerve to ask Paul (The music leader) if they needed another keyboardist. He seemed really excited to have me offer; turns out he’d been wanting to ask me but didn’t want to cause any problems between our churches. I assured him that no drama would come of it. So I auditioned, and he told me that he’d love it if I came to play with the band.
Words can’t even begin to describe how ecstatic I was; I cried on the way to the boys’ house I was so happy. (that was the weekend I played at Timmy & Tyler’s church after having the music a mere 12 hours…you guys are a trip; an awesome challenging trip! <3)
Anyway. Now you know the back story. So I was on the schedule to play for tonight. I’d been anticipating it for several weeks–a little scared at the commitment when school started, but I knew God would pull me through.
So I get an e-mail from Paul Tuesday with the music, and he’s giving us all a pep talk and talking about how huge this Saturday is because it’s Revolution’s one year anniversary.
GULP! I was thinking…Paul, did you uh, mean to put the novice college freshman pianist on the schedule for the BIGGEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR?! Nevertheless…I took a deep breath, told God that this Saturday was HUGE and I didn’t want to let Him down, and buckled down. I bought all the songs from iTunes and listened to them ALL. THE. TIME. No joke, I listened to those same six songs every day on the 20 minute drive to and from school this week, lol, and when I was doing my math homework. I HAD to learn them backwards and forwards.
Then I got sick. yaaay…so Friday I spent most of the day on my back, trying to not get worse. Problem: Friday was supposed to be a big practice day. Whoops…So now I had the little chunks of time I’d been able to practice on school days, and…Saturday after work before rehearsal. But I wasn’t really worried about it; I figured God would have my back. (That and I was too congested to think straight)
Then this morning comes. My lovely parents wake me up at like 6:30…so I end up getting work done before 11, which was good. I then ate lunch, and….practiced until like, 1:30.
Let me tell you; I haven’t had that much fun practicing piano in a really, really long time. I just played with chords and rhythms, sang in a loud obnoxious sicky voice, and laughed a lot. It was great!! The hours were creeping by till practice would finally arrive; and I felt ready.
So then 2:45 rolls around, and I’m grabbing my keys to get out the door and down to church. And I just get a sick feeling in my stomach. Like, what am I doing?! It was the exact same feeling I had when they pulled us back before the launch on the Deja Vu roller coaster last weekend; I was about to embark on something I couldn’t turn back from, couldn’t run away from; I had no choice but to ride it through till it’s completion.
Let me just stop right here to say that today was far more enjoyable than that ride ;)
Rehearsal was really awesome!! The band was super chill and we had a lot of fun working through the music. There was this one song that I had a, well not really solo, but accent part on. I literally couldn’t tell you the names of the notes, and if I thought about them, there’s no way I could get them right. I had to say “Okay, God, here’s the deal. I’m going to get lost in the music, and let you do the rest.”
And He did :) I had so much fun. I can honestly say that’s one of the first times I’ve actually WORSHIPED while playing for worship. It was phenomenal; I’ve never felt that free and…out of control in my life.
Let me explain the “Out of control” phrase. It was not me in charge of my fingers tonight. If it were, it would have been a miserable failure. No. I firmly believe Jesus was moving my hands, enabling me to think about the words, enabling me to be free and just enjoy the beautiful music and spirit of God. I actually sang for some of the songs. That doesn’t happen very often.
What can I say? The only explanation is God. So whatever God is telling you to do…………….go do it. He’s proven again…….He won’t let you down :)
“The LORD turned to him and said, “Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?”” -Judges 6:14