Lately in my life, I’ve found myself…less than content…with myself, and with just…yeah.

This week I’m declaring a media fast–no secular music, no movies, no TV, no youtube…just sermons, Christian music, and books.  This is my favorite way to recenter my life, and I really need it.  I’ll divulge a little of what’s inside my head, and then at the end of the week i’ll document the changes and give glory to God because, well, let’s face it, He’s going to be making the change, not me :)

Reason numero uno: dissatisfied with how I look.  I made the mistake of thinking that immodest women didn’t bother me.  While they don’t bother me in the same way they bother guys, they still affect me.  They make me begin to feel inadequate, and that I will always be single if I don’t dress provocatively and act like a slut.  I know this is contrary to truth, and I refuse to be dragged down by them any longer.  My visual safeguards now not only include shirtless men but also slutty women; this is to protect my self-image and self-worth.

The second reason…I don’t really want to share here, beyond…I’m being tempted to want to be a girlfriend, and that is just not ok with me…because this friendship is so special to me, that…if I ruin it…no. not happening.  a week without tv to save this friendship is definitely worth it.

So that’s me.  That’s my honest most intense struggles right now here goes :)

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