So, as my beloved blog followers, you have undoubtedly been bombarded with my sad, wishful discourses on college, plans, dreams, hopes, aspirations, and…my complete lack of all of them.
But [mostly] good news has arrived to change the dismal state you have come to know and despise from my college-filled ramblings! Yes, I have indeed found a college that sparks my interest–HURRAH! :)
The college I am looking into is a Bible college–its courses are all built around the Bible and Christian leadership. It offers a Christian education degree, and I think it’s a pretty sweet opportunity. I mean, just think–two whole years of study that all relates back to the Bible, to learning what it says, to learning how to be a leader in the church and disciple others…This college doesn’t teach for a career, it teaches for a life, and nothing is more important to me than being the woman God calls me to be and being able to point others to Christ not only in action but also in word. I need to know what the Bible says to live it and to share it.
I also think this education is important in my ultimate goal-wife and mother, which I will claim as my ultimate goal until it happens or God changes my heart. Two years learning what the Bible says and how to apply it practically everyday will definitely not be a waste on the days I just want to scream because my kids are driving me crazy, my husband is busy at work, and I feel totally burned out and used up. A ready and ample knowledge of Christ and a steady and deepening relationship with him will be a comfort and a reminder to keep pressing on and keep loving during all the hard times in my life, mother and wife or no.
That being said, another really awesome thing about this college is that my “sister” and her husband have gone there and love it, and my best friend is going there this fall. I would have my sister and two bodyguards already built in to help keep away the creepers, tell me how that’s not awesome?
While I don’t feel per say the “voice of God” telling me to go to this college, this is by far the most interested I have ever been in a college. Even though this college scares me as well, it’s still attractive. This one just sounds so. Right.
So now you must be wondering why this post is mostly good, and why the title says annoying.
Allow me to tell you.
So I told my mom about this college a while ago. And just the other day I was like “So, Mom, I think this is where I want to go to college, and I want to go in January.”
Mom: “Well…I really don’t want you to go there.”
Well, that’s a slightly less than awesome way to start this conversation. So I keep poking her for reasons. Here are the main ones she has given me over our various conversations, followed by my rebuttals to them:
1) It’s not an accredited school.
-It actually is very much accredited. While I may not be able to obtain a teaching position in a public school, the credits will transfer to other universities if I choose to leave the college, and I can always get a job in a church or a Christian school with this degree.
2) Why don’t you get a “smarter” education?
-Just because I can do physics doesn’t mean I want to. I don’t see how solving big math problems or whatever will show people how awesome Jesus is, which is kind of the whole reason I was put on this earth. It’s not my passion, at all, and what good is it if I’m not passionate about it? How is begrudgingly doing some “smart” work, like a doctor, or whatever it is, going to bring more people to Jesus? That is my ultimate goal in life, and I don’t see how the “smarter” education you’re talking about will help me get there. I don’t see Bible college as a less-smart alternative, anyway. I get to learn Greek or Hebrew, I get to spend semesters studying just a small fraction of the Bible or how to apply it…What’s smarter than that?
3) You don’t know how to live on your own.
-And I never will if I don’t try. I know this is scary for you, but Mom, I need to grow up. I need to find who I am, I need to be challenged and stretched. I know it’s going to be a big, big change. I know it’s not going to be easy, for either of us. But it’s going to be even worse if I don’t have your support, because you are so, so important to me. I need to be able to make my own mistakes.
4) I’m afraid you won’t be able to get a job.
-That’s a legitimate fear, I won’t deny it. It’s not a well-known school, and the degree won’t work with public schools more than likely. But God is bigger than the economy, and bigger than our fears. If God wants me at a Bible college, He’s not going to sit up in Heaven and go “Haaahaha, now you will live in abject poverty, scrounging around trying to save up every penny to go to school again to get a degree that’s actually means something!” No. I don’t believe God would do that to me. That’s not to say I’ll never face economically rough times, but God will be with me, and my degree will not be worthless. I don’t care if I have the nicest car, nicest house, newest fashions. I just want to love.
5) There’s no science or math on this course list.
-Nope, sure isn’t! Isn’t it wonderful? I’m taking those courses now, here in this community college. I have no desires to be a chemist, physicist, mathematician, doctor, lawyer, nurse, veterinarian, astronomer, environmentalist, engineer, etc. I have a working knowledge of math and science, a very good knowledge from what my tests have shown. And that’s enough. I understand how basic biology, chemistry, and physics work together but it is not something that I have a burning desire to pursue. I know basic mathematical principles but I have no desire to crunch numbers all day. Bible courses is what I want.
I know part of my mom’s problem is that my friends are going to be there. I know she’s afraid that I’m just going for them. But I’m not. I’ve searched my heart, and yes, they are a huge, huge bonus. They make the entire thing far less scary. But they are not the only reason I want to go there. I had to talk myself into this school because I was so afraid of just puppy-dogging after my friends. It took a lot of “But it’s an amazing school, who cares if they think you’re just following him?” for me to allow myself to go. I’ve thought about this so much, it’s not just him.
Mom, I understand you’re afraid. I understand this is hard for you. But I really feel like this is something I should do, and I really want your support in this. I want to be able to share this with you. You’re so important in my life, I cherish my relationship with you and I love hearing what you have to say. But I really need you, now more than ever. Please, try to understand.
One of the reasons this is so difficult for me is that my mom and I have always been really close. Having her so vehemently opposed to something I really want to do is super difficult. And I’m not sure if it’s a Nehemiah-like opposition, or a legit warning that maybe I should do something else. What do you guys think? Am I being unreasonable and rebellious? I’d super appreciate your prayers on this.
Much love blog world :)
Until next time,