I just got an e-mail from a leader at my church [MV] being ABSOLUTELY ridiculously petty about something.
Okay, so we’re going through the church project on Sunday nights. And I had gotten home from Mexico super late Saturday, and had been with my brother and his girlfriend all afternoon, so my mind was kind of wandering, I was kind of tired, I kind of didn’t really really want to be there but I wanted to hear what the truth project had to say, so I went. But, being somewhat aloof, I pulled out my deck of cards and played a little game of hand solitare beneath the table just to keep my hands occupied. Sometimes I do that to focus. I’ll doodle, play with silly putty…shoot, I even played minesweeper all through economics lectures in highschool. It helps keep me on my toes.
So when the video was over and discussion started, I was enjoying both the topic and the solitare, so I kept playing while talking with the group. I’m pretty sure I talked more that night than I had in any other one (Granted, still not a lot, but more than I had before.) The leader questioned me as to why I was playing, and I told her. “It helps me focus, and don’t worry, I’m listening.” she said it made her feel funny, but I assured her I was listening and would nod my head and answer questions just like normal, maybe even more.
So then I check my e-mail tonight and she sent me a whole four paragraphs blowing it totally out of proportion, saying that I was the center of attention, and that it was totally rude, and that if I didn’t want to be there not to come, and asked how I’d feel if she played cards when I led worship, and all sorts of crazy things.
One, so wasn’t the center of attention. Under the table. Yeah, that doesn’t draw attention. And I was very careful not to shuffle during the discussion so as not to be a distraction. And I could care less if she played cards when I lead worship. She’s the one missing out, I don’t lead worship to see everyone smiling back at me, I lead worship to communicate with Jesus.
I do see how it could have been construed as rude, perhaps disrespectful. But I think I would only consider it that way if the person doing it were completely removed from the conversation. Which………..I so totally wasn’t!!!
I’m not saying it was the best idea I ever had, but I don’t understand why it was so big of a deal. Especially since I don’t think she could even see me the way the room is set up. But, oh well. I guess I should start bringing silly putty with me again…
There’s just a lot of things frustrating me right now there, and this kind of was the icing on the cake. I think it’s ridiculous to make a mountain out of a mole hill, but I am glad she felt comfortable enough to let me know it bothered her. Now I know how it affects her, I most certainly will not intentionally upset her twice.