I had a really great talk with my mom tonight (ok technically this morning since it was 1AM). I was just scared about everything going on, and so sick of being scared, and we just had a really good talk. She told me stuff I already knew but needed to hear again (for like the billionth time): don’t mope, don’t wait around, get active, have a purpose, do something.
So, here are my goals for this semester:
- Enjoy my classes and really learn a lot
- Invest in my traditional church and try to really change it before I leave for college. This includes shaking up the music department, engineering at least the halloween outreach I want to do, and maybe even starting a girls’ Bible study with the youth group kids.
- I want to read a lot. I want to finish A Case for Christ, and…I don’t know what I want to read after that. Ideas would be awesome. I don’t want romance books, and I don’t want relationshippy books. This semester is about Jesus.
- Running. I’m going to start running at least 3 days a week when I get home from visiting Brad and Chrissy. This is super important for my mental health, just running out all the fear of me every morning (followed by devotions to get the good stuff in my head). I’m also going to run for my children, so their mother will be healthier than mine. I don’t want my kids to go through what I did with my mom (nor do I want to have a heart attack and quadruple bypass surgery..)
- Music. I have two nursing homes I want to visit to do concerts.
- I want to join another Revolution small group. The last one was such a blessing. I learned so much, and made amazing new friends. I have amazing women backing me up and being such a great support net through this. They get it, and they’re willing to listen to me.
- Still be a good friend, 1300 miles apart
- I want to really learn about the early church. This means reading and studying Acts. I haven’t decided which other books I want to read. I’m working on Jeremiah, and it’s really hard, so…we’ll see, I may take a break from it and start Acts here soon.
- Piano. I want to play just for the fun of it, not because I have to.
- Once our kitchen gets put back together, I want to make sure my family starts eating healthy food again. We’ve been eating fast food for way too stinking long, and I don’t care how much extra work it is, I’m sick of junk food, and if I’m the only one willing to make healthy stuff happen, so be it.
- I want to be more in love with Jesus.
- I want to instill in my youth group kids a love for each other and a desire to know about God. I want to leave them in January knowing that they are headed in the right direction. I want to know that they have seen what Jesus can do and are reaching for him more and more every day.
- I want to make connections with people I don’t know in my classes at school and invite them to Revolution.
- I want people to notice when I’m gone in January. Not because I’m awesome, but because they saw Jesus in me. I don’t want them to miss me, I want them to miss Jesus working in me. I don’t want them to remember me, I want them to remember Jesus shining in me.
- I want to be so consumed with God, and with His word, and so passionately in love, that it’s contagious, and that it makes a difference.
- I want this semester to bring glory to God. I can’t do that if I’m moping around, worried about the future. I can’t control the future. I can’t know what will happen, and worrying will not change a thing. I can deal with today, and I can learn the relationship of leaning on God for each day, like Elijah, in Kerith.
Kerith is really going to be my theme for this semester. I really believe that’s a big part of what’s going on. And while I’m still scared, while it still is hard, I am excited. I will still have my emo moments, but I am so excited to learn how to just…lean on God to the point where if He’s not there, I’m falling over.
Pretty epic. Through Kerith I go.