Hello beautiful blog readers of mine :)
I just felt like doing a little life-y update, since it’s my sabbath and school is forbidden and all :)
Well, in like, July, we realized we had a leak in our kitchen (we had water under our floor O.o) so we’ve been going through all that junk, getting it fixed and whatnot. This week our tile is being put in and, since you can’t walk on freshly-lain tile for a few days, the insurance company has put us up in a hotel.
Wow, what a hotel it is too! It’s got a loft (which is where I claimed residency) and it’s so cool. I love it.The only thing is they don’t have Disney channel, or water like to drink. So that’s lame. But, it’s still sweet.
Mommy bought me a white dress because she wanted to do a photoshoot today. It’s amazing. I’ll post some of the results of this shoot later :) (they’re still on mom’s camera at the moment).
I feel so…incredible today. I feel fulfilled, I feel happy, and I feel beautiful. I love it.
A couple of nights ago, I was talking to Jesus, and I was able to say-for the first time-that I honestly don’t think there is something wrong with me, that He made me just the way I should be so it’s not *me* that’s between me and being found attractive by guys.
Wow, talk about a giant release. To be able to finally, finally see the beauty in how Jesus made me. To finally be able to realize that just because no one has emerged to say they want my heart doesn’t make my heart undesirable. To finally see that, even though I am so imperfect, even though I have so many faults, God made me…me, with my personality, with my quirks, with my body. And He’s crazy about it. And I can finally say, that I think it’s all as awesome as He does.
That was definitely my favorite part of the week.
Let’s see. I’m also working on trusting God more. Taking to heart Philippians 4:3-7, and also capturing thoughts that, even though they’re sweet and I kind of like it when they linger in my mind, have no right to be in my mind. I’ve given up thinking of sweet ways to be asked out, of cute things that could happen in my future, of amazing lines that would make my heart melt in a second if a certain someone said them…Everytime those sorts of things enter my head, I just pray. I’m sick of carrying that burden, of carrying the worry that comes with it. I’m giving it back to God, every single day, every single time it comes in. It’s hard, it’s frustrating, and it’s real work. But, God is helping me. I feel so much freer, so much more alive, so much…more peaceful. And it’s all because of Jesus.
I had to work Friday and Saturday this week, which kind of chewed up the majority of my homework time. I still have a lot to do actually. But it’s Sunday. I’m, in the words of Timmy, “Setting myself up to fail unless God steps in.” It’s kind of exciting. I can’t wait to see how He works it all out, like I know He will, because He’s epic like that.
Saturday was by far one of my favorite days at work. I set up weddings at a church. Usually, when I get there, the tables are all set up and the chargers are already out and stuff, so I really just do finishing touches and clean usually. But this weekend, we had two weddings, and I was the only set up girl there on Saturday (there was a guy there to help me with some stuff, like setting the tables out and whatnot). So I come in to a bunch of tables left from the event on Friday, and it’s my job to transform it for the event that night. I was really overwhelmed at first, but my boss came in and gave me some pointers on setting the tables out (she’s amazing, I love her, more on her later:), and then Chuck (the dude) and I got the tables set out, and I just got to work. There were no rehearsals, no tours, just me and the reception hall. And I loved it. It was so much fun, so calming, so exhilarating to have this gigantic space and a woman’s fairytale in my hands. The chairs went out, the linens went on, the chargers, napkins, favors, mirrors, votives…and it looked beautiful when i got done :) (My boss helped with the centerpieces, and Chuck helped with the chairpads, I can’t take credit for everything haha). It was by far my favorite day of work.
Que mas. Well, I started going through John with Kyla last Monday. It was really neat; I got to explain why manna matters, why Samaratians weren’t very popular…all sorts of fun stuff.
October 3 I start leading music at my church for a month. So scary.
This coming Sunday, I start teaching preschoolers children’s church. So exciting. I haven’t been this excited about something in a while. Maybe Children’s ministry is what I should go into, after all…
Ugh. I don’t even want to be a teacher. I really don’t. I don’t feel adequate to teach children stuff. I’ll go through some classes and stuff, but I really don’t feel like I’m going to be any good at it. guess I’ll just go with it for now, and see what God has in store.
Dude!! Tuesday night Timmy and I went to see the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. SO GOOD! You simply must go see it.
Pride goes before the fall. We were playing Revelation Song today, and for some reason some prideful thought came into my head, and literally right then I hit an A Major instead of an A minor. I just laughed. I was like, that’s what I get for letting pride sneak into my head. Bad. bad stuff. I find myself tempted to want recognition lately, that’s definitely not something I want in my life. I want to be able to do things and not want to be noticed. I guess that’s just something I’ll have to work with God on training myself.
I’ve been presented with some pretty big theological issues among my churches here lately. I don’t want to get into it and start big theological debates here, but I need to talk to my pastors about the issues. I mean…the stuff I’m reading in my Bible looks pretty straightforward, yet….they’re not seeing it that way. Am I missing something? Or are they just denying something? So I’ve got to make some meetings, not immediately, but pretty soon.
Let’s see. So i’m kind of liking the two story thing of this hotel. I feel like I’m so independent, haha. I’m excited to move out on my own.
Dude! guys!! I got my housing and prereg forms this past week. So scary. But I’m so excited.
Thanks for reading my ramble, all 1200 words of it… :)