This week has been absolutely awful. I’ve been wrecked with homesickness, piled with homework, plagued with doubts, pummeled with insecurities, and to top it all off, found out yesterday that my uncle is dying.
But I learned something today, and if I hadn’t this blog would be very different–it would be a sad tirade about how miserable I am and blah blah blah.
I’ve been feeling down all week. This afternoon, I met Amanda in the halls and she was like “Hey, what are you doing tonight? Do you want to help out with a kid’s carnival from 5:30-7:30?” Well, I certainly didn’t want to do homework, so I agreed. I was tired of being depressed and thought maybe this would get my mind off stuff–at least it would delay homework for a few more hours.
So I got there, and I got put in charge of doing the money box. I worked with another guy for almost the entire time. He was very pleasant to talk to, but a little awkward, and questions came hard to my self-absorbed mind. We would get some good conversation rolling, then it would drop for an awkward 30 seconds until one of us thought of something else to talk about. There was nothing ‘natural’ in our communication at all. But I feel like I learned quite a bit about this man–I got to meet his wife and daughter, talked to him about some of the cool stuff he’s done in the past (and some things we had in common, like Mexico and Spanish and writing), talked about his education, his family…we got talking about a lot of cool things.
When I first introduced myself he asked where I went to school and I told him the name of my school. He didn’t really seem to be familiar with it–which is pretty much a dead giveaway that he doesn’t go to church, since every church loves the college and wants students to come there. I kinda kept that in the back of my mind, but couldn’t find a good avenue to find out more about his spiritual life for more than the first hour.
Then it happened: I asked him what other countries he had been to, and he mentioned Israel. He talked a lot about how much he liked it, and i asked him if he’d visited the holy sites, which he had and loved. So I asked him if he went to church. He said no, and I asked him if he had grown up going to church since he seemed to know so much about the holy land. Turns out he was a C&E Christian growing up (Christmas and Easter), and was thinking that he should start going back to church since his daughter is really young. It was cool to be able to tell him a little about where I go and about a church closer to town. I pray he’ll reconsider and start going. His name is Brian, could you pray for him?
I then went to grab some food and was sitting awkwardly by myself and an older lady asked me to watch her granddaughter while she went to do something. So I moved to sit with the little girl, and when the lady came back we started talking about the college and stuff, and she asked me if we had any tutors.
Umm, I’m a tutor! me! me! pick me!
She said her grandson needs help with 7th grade math. So we swapped phone numbers and I’m going to find out what the school’s policy is for tutoring community students (like if we have a fee) and all that jazz.
Floored. I was completely floored how God used me to intersect with two very specific people at a random children’s carnival in the middle of a tiny town. I don’t know what will come of my conversations with Brian, and I don’t know what will come of possibly tutoring this kid, but I do know that it’s exciting when you just let go and let God take you places.
I learned something today.
Service is the best therapy. Sure, I’ve still got the same problems. But for two hours I was able to look at the bigger picture and focus on something outside of myself. I can’t really describe how I’m feeling. I’m not really on a “service day” high, because I didn’t really do that much. I am feeling very refreshed by God though, which doesn’t make sense since I”m exhausted. All I know is that following God is the best, and service is mega good therapy.
Anyway, that’s my wisdom for the day. Loves.