I found my old journal today. The one that I kept really well until I got into my bad relationship, when I let God become second in my life.
I wrote a lot about that bad relationship before it even happened. I wanted to just get a pair of scissors and cut it all out; I wanted to forget it ever happened and have no evidence that it did. But that’s not realistic. It did happen. I was foolish and followed my own desires above those of God (like Israel wanting a king even when God told them it was a bad idea). I can’t deny it. I sinned, colossally.
I can’t ignore that it happened, but I can allow it to be redeemed.
So I took a bright red pen, and across every mention of that relationship or anything that caused me to feel shame related to it, I wrote in big red letters “FORGIVEN,” “REDEEMED,” “FORGOTTEN.”
So now my record is complete. It’s still there, I can’t erase it, in the same way I can’t erase that it happened in my life. But I have been forgiven for all those things. I have been forgiven. My sin has been forgotten. My story has been, is being, and will be redeemed.
Here are a few pages from my journal now. They aren’t all marred by my past sins, but the ones that are stand as a reminder that even though I was so, so foolish, Christ has forgiven me.
“The blood of Jesus purifies us from all our sins.” -1 John 1:7 (paraphrased)