I found my old journal today. The one that I kept really well until I got into my bad relationship, when I let God become second in my life.

I wrote a lot about that bad relationship before it even happened. I wanted to just get a pair of scissors and cut it all out; I wanted to forget it ever happened and have no evidence that it did. But that’s not realistic. It did happen. I was foolish and followed my own desires above those of God (like Israel wanting a king even when God told them it was a bad idea). I can’t deny it. I sinned, colossally.

I can’t ignore that it happened, but I can allow it to be redeemed.

So I took a bright red pen, and across every mention of that relationship or anything that caused me to feel shame related to it, I wrote in big red letters “FORGIVEN,” “REDEEMED,” “FORGOTTEN.”

So now my record is complete. It’s still there, I can’t erase it, in the same way I can’t erase that it happened in my life. But I have been forgiven for all those things. I have been forgiven. My sin has been forgotten. My story has been, is being, and will be redeemed.

Here are a few pages from my journal now. They aren’t all marred by my past sins, but the ones that are stand as a reminder that even though I was so, so foolish, Christ has forgiven me.

“The blood of Jesus purifies us from all our sins.” -1 John 1:7 (paraphrased)


2 responses »

  1. Natalie says:

    Amen! Love this post! And I love that you did that with your journal!

  2. Rebekah M says:

    That’s so great! I don’t know you, just stumbled across your blog, but good for you! I recently came out of a bad relationship myself and God convicted me strongly after everything fell apart. I started to make my ex a “god” in my life… I loved him as much as I loved God and God even told me that I had given him (my ex) parts of my heart that should have been reserved for Himself alone. I loved my ex so much that I even compromised things a little just to make him happy- telling myself that we weren’t doing THAT so it was okay. Jesus is so wonderful in forgiving us and giving us strength to move on and leave our pasts behind us! Those things are as far from you (as my things are for me) as the east is from the west :) God bless you and thank you for posting!!! :)

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